I’m writing this post thinking about the past 5 months and reflecting on my perseverance and faith, and how proud I am that I kept going. These have been some of the most overwhelming and heartbreaking experiences I’ve had to go through in a long time. But I kept going and continued to believe that the Universe has got my back. I kept going after losing our dog Tucker at the end of January, as I was struggling with my mental health, after I had a complete breakdown from all the stress that school was giving me, and after losing my Grandma right before my clinical exams.
After going through that, I never gave up and I am so proud of myself.
Sometimes when life feels like it’s going the wrong way and if you feel like quitting, remind yourself why you should not. A few of the most important things that I learnt throughout this is that the Universe is never testing me–it’s teaching me. I have been reminding myself that I can do it, that the Universe will never give me more than I can handle, and I will become stronger through it all. And after all of the self-talks and affirmations… I can feel myself becoming stronger.
Before this year, I never really knew how to handle stress because of KLS. The moment I would feel stressed out, I would go into an episode for 2 weeks and not really have to deal with it. It always seemed like it went away when I got sick and I would focus on something else when I was better. Now that I have been episode free for 3 years, I have really had to teach myself how to handle stress and to keep going without getting sick. This is a huge success for me!
I am not saying that this was easy by any means but someway and somehow, I did it. I’ll be honest, a lot of the time was filled with doubt, sadness, anger, frustration and nearly wanting to quit. And after I felt like I couldn’t handle it anymore by myself, I had to find that external motivation and positivity. One of the best (and most difficult) things I did was message my friends. I think this was difficult for me to tell people I was struggling because I didn’t want to feel weak and out of control. Let me say this, you are not weak for asking for help. If anything, that makes you stronger. So I messaged them, even with doubt in my mind that they wouldn’t care, but was I ever wrong. I was showered with love, kindness and support, and most importantly realized that I wasn’t alone. I also talked to my mom about how I was feeling and she told me, “if you can go through all of this and still study for exams, get good grades and be successful, you’re meant to be a nurse.” So here I am, done with the winter semester and in spring clinical.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post but it’s a reminder that we all struggle sometimes. It’s so important to be true to yourself and to know deep down that the Universe has got your back and will help you when you ask. You never have to be alone when you are struggling.
Another thing is to just be kind to people, you really don’t know what they are going through so don’t make life more difficult for them. We all need a little (or a lot of) love. Anyways, that’s all for today. I’ll be back!
Take care of yourself,